Engineer

This is me, an engineer, surrounded by a chaotic blend of technology and thought. Laptop open, connected peripherals; whiteboard filled with illegible mutterings, stick figures, diagrams; papers scattered and strewn across the floor.

I’m at my desk, mechanical keyboard soft clacking. Sitting, standing, pacing, imagining. Interrupted by ideas, ambitions, projects – not when I search for them. At dinner, reading, driving, in the shower. In the middle of a conversation. My apologies.

I latch onto something. Space out. Dozens of tabs, videos, podcasts, books. Mad scientist vibes. Entanglement in cascading quandaries. A radio with 1,000 dials, twisting each one with precision to find the signal. I’m a subject matter expert, then I turn the page. I perceive a vast unknown – I know nothing. Is this knowable? Am I smart enough?

Experiments, books, deep dive. Gain confidence, gain knowledge. Build something impossible. Excited, reeling, adrenaline. Nearby friends understand the complexity, but do not share the excitement. It’s ok I say. I’m a bit of a nerd.

Rip papers out of notebook, scrub clean the whiteboard. Tidy desk. Awaiting the next one.